Finally back from the islands, and withering in the sweltering Athens heat. Mykonos was great, but not nearly as beautiful as Santorini. Mykonos is not nearly as welcoming to tourists, probably because they are tired of the party people trashing their island. Mykonos has a reputation of being the gay capitol of the Mediterranean, and dudes were cruising all over the place. Still I love the little maze-like white washed alleyways, even if you might run into something unpleasant.

Joanna and I met a two Californias in Mykonos named Aetrean and Dave. We talked for a bit, about where we were from. Aetrean, a well dressed black hipster, was originally from L.A. and now lives in San Francisco. Dave chose not to speak. They asked where we had been, and we explained we had been sunbathing out at Paradise beach (Amazing! Lots of young people. The only place so far where topless bathing is the accepted norm). Natuarally, being hipsters after all, they scoffed saying there were much better beaches. Aetrean said we had to rent a car, after all he would know.

"This is our third time here." said Aetrean.

"In Greece?"

"No, in Mykonos."

Joanna had been craving a Karaoke bar and these guys would most likely know where one was.

"There's a gay karaoke bar just back along the water, it's OK, but I'm not gay." said Aetrean without a shred of sarcasm, and even a slight tone of disdain for homosexuals.

Joanna and I were in shock. Before we could muster a question, they were off to the next club, THE SCANDANAVIAN which was "full of Italian dudes, not many chicks, cheap drinks though" according to Aetrean. How can a couple of guys who have been to Mykonos 3 times together and not be gay? Imagine if Ryan Dobosh and I went to Mykonos every summer, our girlfriends would have thrown us out years ago.

Anyway, Joanna and I stayed up all night, drinking, dancing, fighting off perverted Italians and kissing in romantic flower filled alleys. We returned to paradise beach for a quick nap on the sand and then caught a death ferry back to Athens.

Tomorrow is the Basketball Quarterfinals, so someone hit record and check me out, I'll have a sign and I'll being acting like a crazed maniac with an Al-Qaeda death wish. Go USA!

Hung over in Paradise. (For event shedule, check blog below)

You've heard of those miracle CHASER pills that can prevent hang overs? Well appartly you have to take them BEFORE finishing an entire bottle of Vodka for them to be effective.

Today I'm still on the island of Santorini, which I'll have pictures of posted here when I return. I'm going to to return to my favorite place on earth today. It is an amazing city called Ia on the far side of the island, that has a maze of narrow blue and white alleys and tremedous views of the ancient volcano from its cliffs. Eveything here is more beautiful than anything I could have imagined.

What I want to know is . . . Did Coca-Cola fill the Aegean Sea with blue Powerade just for the Olympics, because I've been living near water my entire life, and I don't recogize this sparkly shade of blue.

Tonight Joanna and I will travel overnight to the Island of Mykonos which is also known as Party CENTRAL. MTV Europe films all their psuedo Spring Break materials from its beaches. So if you don't see us at the Olympics, check MTV Europe where I'll be entering the wet t-shirt contest.

Now Carly Patterson and Paul Hamm have won Olympic gold, and the Americans have passed the Chinese in medals. So now the Americans rule at Acrobatics and Gymnastics, while the Chinese are now the best shooters in the world. I don't think all that flipping is going to help us when World War 3 breaks out.

MEANWHILE IN PARADISE!
Finding an internet cafe in Greece is much harder than you'd imagine.
I am currently on the island of Santorini, far from the Olympics. Santorini is the most beautiful place I have ever been. It's that amazing postcard town you always seen with the blue and white cathedrals on cliffs over looking the sparkling mederterrean. I am having the time of my life. Currently I am so drunk I can hardly sit up straight in my chair.

If you're looking for us on TV, Joanna and I will be at ALL THE QUARTERFINAL BASKETBALL GAMES (4 straight games) on the 26th (Greek time). I'll be close to the floor with some witty sign, like "USA Sucks, Go USA". Can anyone tell me why the US team didn't pick one single outside shooter? (So far it looks like they just might squeek into the Quarterfinals)

Next, look for Joanna and I at the TRACK AND FIELD FINALS on the 28th (That's Friday Greek time) we won't be close to the field, but we'll have a sign. After that, Joanna and I will be at the HANDBALL GOLD MEDAL GAME! It will be broadcast on NBC! (the 29th) Make a recording, because handball rules, and Joanna and I will do our best to make fools of ourselves and get on TV.

I must go dear blog reading friends, the Internet cafe is already closed and I have a beef Souvlaki Gyro waiting for me next door. The next entry will be much more thorough. Check for us on TV, my mom said she already saw us, but of course moms are like that.

Paul Hamm rules!
Much love, Go USA
Mark

Hoisting the dart shaped Guard Young will be strong man Rulon Gardner. 

At the Olympics this year, Guard Young will compete as the first ever Human Javelin.

-If you're not already full of terror and anabolic steriods, you're probably not headed to the Olympics like me. Tomorrow my girlfriend/sidekick Joanna and I will be headed to Athens, Greece to take part in the summer games. While I may not be competing in any sports or even waving the flag, I will be representing America at many fine drinking establishments throughout Greece. I have been preparing for this moment since June 2004, this is what some of my trainers are saying.

"Mark has no chance of winning anything in Greece, not even a drinking competition. Especially with the Australians and Germans there, you're most likely to find Mark under a table somewhere." --Rob Anderson, Santa Monica Track & Field

"With Mark's immune system in shambles from excessive steriod use, he really shouldn't even get on a plane." --Gail Wesley, St. John's Hospital

"If there was a medal for POOREST MAN IN ATHENS, Mr. Siano would bring home the gold."
--Jason Blake, Bank of America

So as you can see, expectations are high this time round, but I won't crumble under the pressure. I will not be intimidated sexy physically superior athletes or let myself be overwhelmed by the daunting stress of the Greek topless beaches. I am ready for the challenge, and I won't back down!

Here's the game plan. I fly out of L.A. on Thursday and arrive in Greece on Saturday morning, where I will be staying within walking distance of the Main Olympic Complex. That night I will see Gymnastics. Sunday will be Beach Volleyball and another sport T.B.A. Monday will be Handball day. http://www.ihf.com/ Team Handball is by far the coolest sport you've never heard of. Imagine if you could play soccer with your hands, lots and lots of goals. Check out the gold medal game on NBC on August 29th, I'll be there, trust me you'll love it.

After that, Joanna and I have 10 days to play in Greece. We plan to go to the Greek islands and then even visit the majestic Meteora (or Metewpa) where ancient monastaries stand atop isolated sandstone cliffs. The photos will be amazing. Joanna bought a combination binocular and camera that takes beautiful detailed long distance photos.

Then on the 26th we will return to Athens so we can view, ALL THE BASKETBALL quarterfinals. Four basketball games in one day, and we'll see all the top 8 teams. Then on the 28th is the big Athletics final. Yes, we'll be at the big stadium for the big Track and Field final event, that's where binocam will really come in handy. On the 29th will be the Handball Gold Medal game, and two days later, barring terrorist attack we'll return to L.A. I promise to post some cool photos and hopefully hilarious stories of sports and security. Check back next week.