Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Bumblebee!


Yo! This is Mukilteo Bumblebee. If Mark ain't gonna write on this thing, I will, since I got his password anyway. Well it's halloween and I am back, and I am ready to throw you a few poems straight from the combs.

Buzz Buzz Honey
Buzz Buzz Money
I don't need no dough
but y'all ought to know
I'm coming for your flowers
I'm not waiting for April showers

Protect the Queen?
That's what I do.
Don't tell me how to live my life.
Unless you are the queen,
in which case I say . . .

Buzz Buzz Queenie
Buzz Buzz Halloweenie
What's good for the queen is good for the hive
I'll dance all day just to stay alive
I'll dance to the left, buzz, dance to the right
I'll dance with the wasps, I'll dance all night

Just to show you,
Where my honey at
Just to give you
the coordinates

I'll rhyme when I want to
Or maybe I won't
Or give ya half ass rhymes
like get in my boat!

That didn't make no sense
and neither does you face
I'll dance and buzz til ya get the picture

Buzz buzz step to the left
fly up straight
loopty loop
Buzz back down
do the double-J scoop

Shake it buzzy Shake it up
Dance c'mon dance dance buzz

Damn!

I'm dancing like this and dancing like that
Now you know where my honey's at

I know all you kids are dying to be
Just like the original,Mukilteo Bumblebee

Saturday, October 21, 2006

The Brothers have worked it out.


The Brothers are alright. Representatives for the Fire have said that the Fire is going to go underground for the next few years, maybe come out with a new, bigger fire in 2008.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

THE BROTHERS ARE ON FIRE!!!




The Brothers are on fire! Hey! Hey! Fire! Fire!

The's a huge forest fire in The Brothers wilderness area! The Brothers is that big double peak you can see across the water from Seattle. The Brothers just happen to be be my favorite mountain (is it plural if it's one mountain?) in the Olympic Mountain Range. And that mountain is currently on fire. The Brothers are on fire!

I've never seen anything like it. Even when I lived in L.A., where there are forest fires all the time, you could never see the distant plumes from Downtown or Hollywood or anything like that.

The fire was first reported Wednesday Oct.10. The muthafuckin Brothers have been on fire since at least Oct 4! That's when I noticed a plume of smoke coming off the mountain. I never reported it. I figured one of these guy would have said something.




Maybe some forest department official . . . ?
It's right there people! Seattle has had clear skies for nearly everyday in October. At first I thought The Brothers might be ready to blow up or something, but The Brothers are not volcanic.
Shouldn't this be bigger news? Local camera crews LOVE a good forest fire, its a ratings machine! I guess Seattle is just gonna chill and see what happens, no biggy.

If this was the Simi Valley or Valencia people would be freaking out!

Well I'm sorry I didn't say anything about it earlier, but apparently they just wait to see if these things burn themselves out.

HOWEVER, if it gets out of hand, I'm gonna be organizing a fire fighting car pool! I've got room in my car for at least two. Bring a bucket.

We can do this blog community. Bloggers turned the 2004 presidential campaign on its head. Bloggers have outed countless prominent closet gays. Now the blog communtiy is going to have to put out a forest fire. We can do it bloggers, save The Brothers!

Monday, October 02, 2006

June 2006


Blam! The European Calendars are almost finished. Special thanks again to Franco for making my 30th birthday an unforgettable one, and thanks for encouraging me to drink that much wine. I never made contact with that ping pong ball that night.

Princess destroys Venice



VENICE 2006-- In retaliation for being forced to wait 4 hours for docking in an April 2005 Princess vacation cruise to Venice, Captain Ernesto Poretta responded this time by taking docking procedures into his own hands.

"I don't have time for this bullshit, the buffet has been picked clean, the line up for shuffleboard is around the pool. If we can't use the grand canal, no one will."

Even though Venetian port authorities assured Cpt. Poretta that the wait for docking would be less than an hour, the captain took immediate action.

"Less than an hour?!? That's what they said last time. The dock is right frickin there! Do I look like a moron? These damn city officials probably don't even remember me. Well now they will." Then the Captain aimed the mighty cruise liner at the heart of St. Mark's square, sending Venetian vendors, pigeons, and tourists fleeing in terror.

"I'm gonna rip this bitch a new one!" screamed the captain as the hull of the boat ripped through St. Mark's square.

Venitian city officials have yet to comment on the new canal.