photos pic images jpegs, whatever the kids are callin em these days

The view from Au Naung in Krabi, Southern Thailand.
And an evil face biting monkey!

Photos!

Covered in red dirt, blood, rain, and sweat.




Enjoying a beer with Lucia, who I somehow managed to talk into fanning me with a giant palm leaf.

Thai Style Head Crackin'

It just isn't a good Siano vacation until I crack my head open. I figure if I don't draw blood, no one will read this blog.

Departing Bangkok in the middle of a tropical downpour, I headed south in search of a sandy beach that would be surrounded by my favorite geographical phenomenon: The KARST TOWER. In fact, this trip, previous to going to Beijing, is all about chasing Karst Towers. Here in the southern Thai town of Krabi, the place is nothing but Karst Towers, one of my next destinations in Halong Bay, Vietnam, again the towers, and finally Guilin China is a limestone paradise of Karst Towers. The minerals that compose these tiny giants actually eat the trees and folliage on top of them as they grow towards the skies creating the coolest and steepest looking hills on earth. Yesterday, just to show those beautiful little mountains how much I love them, I left a little chunk of my head on one of them.

I was climbing in search of distant lagoon, it was extremely muddy and it was raining, not good climbing weather. It was a strenous little hike up a steep cliff, but I took it real slow and paired up with a couple from Quebec, just so we could help each other out in case of emergency, like if someone fell, and cracked their head open. Only, I didn't fall. I was so focused on finding good footing and grabbing strong vines that when I got a solid grip, I just lifted myself up not looking at the rocks ABOVE ME.

Crack!

Blood! That was really stupid, the Quebecouis laughed at me, and we kept heading towards the lagoon. I felt fine, but when I saw the lagoon, we all got really scared. There were two more cliffs with nothing but a muddy rope to let you down. My mom, and Jeanne, and everyone who told me not to go looking for danger would have been proud. We turned back and decided a game of volleyball in the pool was just as rewarding as a lagoon surrounded by cliffs, and far less deadly.

SIDE STORY:

Speaking of deadly, the day before I was hanging out with a young Erika Kuever wannabe, she's studying Mandarin in Shanghai as part of her degree. She is the daughter of two Islamic Tartar Russians, and was born in Tajikistan and grew up in Russia and Germany, and now she studies in China, her name was Louiza. My story was much shorter, "I'm from Seattle, in America, they call me Mark."

We went on an elephant ride through the jungle, it was totally awesome dude! Dude! This elephant is trying to buck me dude, no way Stampy, I'm holding on!!

After the elephant ride, Louiza and I went to pay the nice men, and then a monkey attacked Louiza! It latched onto her face, dug its claws into her neck and bit a chunk out of her ear, Mike Tyson style. I was like "hey, there's a monkey biting your FACE!"

She turned out to be fine, but now we're both really scared of monkeys. Those little suckas are everywhere down here, hiding in the beautiful karst caves, just looking for a friendly face to attack!

I'm getting out of here, next stop, Northern Thailand city of Changmai, and then off to Laos.

That's right,

Here

now. Amazing, they are closing the internet cafe. I have to go, I am well.

Eye Candy and Lung Poison

I woke up my first morning in Thailand, and got my world rearranged. On a stroll outside my suburban guest house I was immediately accosted by stray dogs and barefoot children. Rickety shacks stood side by side with oppulent upper middle class mansions, and the sidewalk was littered with trash and nasty/gorgeous food stalls. It was 7:30 in the morning but I was already sweaty as hell and the streets were crowded and I was constantly dodging suicidal scooters, dare devil 3 wheeler "tuk-tuks" and trucks that wanted me dead.

I wasn't in the tourist section of Bangkok, I was rocking the suburbs and I was the only white guy around. The purpose of my morning excursion was to get some excercise. In fact the mission of my entire Asian journey is to LOSE SOME WEIGHT. I know I say I want adventure, and to experience a new culture, and do research for my show about China, but seriously, I'm hear to get fit. I'm sick of sitting behind a desk, and then sitting at a computer, then sitting on a couch, enough sitting already. I'm sick of eating pizza every frickin day because I'm too busy and lazy to eat better.

I quickly realized that going for a jog was impossible, it's too crowded and the exhaust was killing me, within an hour my lungs felt like they had smoked three packs of unfiltered cigarettes. I got off the road and found an upscale shopping center complete with a fancy exclusive sports club.

They asked for my identification and room number and I waved them off with a "do you know who I am" air of confidence. I got in no problemo, the old 'act like you own the place' works in S.E. Asia too. So I played basketball for an hour in the killer Thai sun. A little work out a day, I'm gonna stick to it! Then too cool off, I went into Starbucks to wait for the air con to dry my shirt. I didn't buy a damn thing though, screw you Howard Shultz, you'll never get my money!

I figured out the transit situation and headed downtown. Bangkok was much more beautiful than I had imagined. I had the image of a really gritty city that was far more nasty than facinating. But it really is gorgeous, the architecture of the temples is amazing, and there's almost always something interesting to look at, even the dirtiest of alley have ornate doorways.

I took the river taxi to Khao San, which is the Backpacker Baccinalia of SE Asia. I was looking for a place to stay that had a pool. It's a hundred degrees! In my searches I made friends with a couple American girls who were teachers in Taiwan, who were vacationing in Thailand. We shopped for a bit and then hit the happy hour. BEER is 30 Cents a glass!!! This isn't going to help my weight loss plans. My new friends, Sonja and Stephanie were on their last days in Bangkok and wanted to live it up a bit. They said it was time for thai massages, and I looked at my watch, and they were right, it was indeed massage time! I didn't do the acrobatic and dangerous looking Thai massage, opting instead for the western friendly oil massage, which my new friends said was the best. It was one of the greatest hours in the history of my life. It cost $7 dollars. DAMN!!!

There was more drinking and shopping and eating, the food is great, but nothing has made me re-examine my faith in god yet. At the end of the night, I bid my new friends adieu and headed home. Just then a young woman, who looked pretty normal really, came up to me and asked:

"Hey where are you going?"

"Just catching the bus," I said.

She switched from friendly girl on the street to the incredible hulk in a second flat, grabbed me by the arm with both hands and shouted, "You come with me!"

I had to pull my arm away and run! That was way more agressive than I had anticipated, I know Bangkok is famous for it's sex tourism but I hadn't seen any of it up until that point, and it surprised the shit out of me.

Day 2 in Bangkok was much like the first, without any clutching hooker incidents to report. However I did tempt fate by taking a scooter ride to my new place by the river. My scooter driver was a bit of fatty with a limp, so I should have said no, especially when the helmet didn't fit. We weaved in and out of traffic and since my scooter driver was so huge I had a hard time fitting my arms around him, but his weight offset the huge backpack I had on. Since his frame was so damn wide, my knees jut way off to the side and as he squeezed between the cars I nearly got my knee caps taken off by side mirrors. It cost 200 Thai Bhat, which was kind of a rip off, but still Best ROLLERCOASTER ride Ever!

I played a little frisbee with Sonja at the giant Lumpini Park and watched a lot of hilarious dance routines, I guess in Thailand, you don't have to pay for rehearsal space when you're a choreographer, everyone just practices in the park. I visited the apotheosis of all relining Buddhas, pictured above, and thought of Erika and Emmy who had visited the same spot not too long ago. I miss my friends back home, but Bangkok is a blast, I think I'll stay for a few more days. After that, uh, I don't know, I just need to get to China eventually.

Touchdown Bangkok

It's 90 degrees at night and I am already one seriously sweaty Italian. I feel the heat and the sweat will be a running theme.

The flights were long and harrowing and full of kids and shifty monks (not shifty looking, they were just adjusting their robes) , but I managed to sleep a lot, now I'm wide awake at 3am watching Turkey v. Germany with some other backpackers.

I arrived at the guesthouse and only got slightly ripped off by the taxi driver. The guesthouse is nice, but the mosquitoes have found my ankles, told all friends and the feast has begun.

Tomorrow I'll check out the city if I don't sleep all day.

Travel Blog- Mr. Mark Siano goes to China

Lately I've been using site solely to promote my shows! But now it's time to re-introduce the blog as--

TRAVEL JOURNAL!!!!

In just a few days I'm taking a plane to Bangkok. I will arrive there and try not to crumble. I have a place to stay just on the outskirts of the city for 3 nights. After that . . .

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!!! Somehow I have to get to China

All these big shows I've been doing lately have left me with precious little time to prepare, so I'm just gonna have to wing it. My tentative plan is this: Arrive in Bangkok June 25th, do whatever the hell I like in SE Asia for a couple weeks. Make my way to Hanoi Vietnam, visit Halong Bay and Cat Ba island. Then cross via land from Vietnam into China. Go to the amazing city of Guilin with it's spectacular karst tower mountains (pictured above) and then take a really really long train ride to Beijing. In Beijing I will meet up with my best friend Erika (who has the best blog in the world, check it!), and we will cavort around and I will watch the Olympic games. Then we'll hopefully return to Seattle safe and sound August 18th.

Let's see if things go according to plan shall we. I promise you the following things. I will not run towards sand storms, tsunamis, or typhoons (did I mention I'm visiting during typhoon season)! I will drink chicken liqour, and I will do my darndest not to end up in a Chinese prison.

Mark Siano and The Freedom Dancers Return to the Re-Bar June 13 and 14

After blowing the doors off of Chop Suey in a massive explosion of spectacular softness, Mark Siano and The Freedom Dancers return to their beloved space at Seattle's world renowned Re-Bar. The Soft Rock Explosion drew hundreds of people to Chop Suey, the place was sold out and jam packed, people were turned away, and even the cops showed up! Apparently we violated the Seattle City ordinance for TOO MUCH SWAYZE!

So we're doing it again, and we're doing it well, and we'll be as Swayze as we wanna be!

SOFT ROCK EXPLOSION
Mark Siano and the Freedom Dancers
Friday June 13rd, Saturday June 14th at 8 PM

Re-Bar, 1114 Howell St, Seattle, WA 98101
21+, $12 at the door, or Brown Paper Tickets:
www.brownpapertickets.com/event/34077
or 1-800-838-3006

SOFT ROCK EXPLOSION is a crowd-pleasing, cabaret-style song and dance spectacular, the event features flashy dance numbers, original music and soft rock sing-a-longs led by a 7-piece band, music videos, stand-up and sketch comedy, and as always, a lot of ridiculously sexy people in ridiculously sexy outfits.

The Freedom Dancers are Joey Chapman, Laura DiMarco, Andrea Ford, Abigail Guay, Joanna Hardie, Lieta Siano, and Mara Siciliano.

Mark Siano: Up in your Inbox

Mark Siano is 10 times as big as Duran Duran

According to the Seattle Weekly. The big show is at Chop Suey May 3rd, at 8pm!

Poor little Duran Duran, they're so small!

SOFT ROCK EXPLOSION! Mark Siano and The Freedom Dancers

All new song and dance spectacular May 3rd at Chop Suey.

LEGENDS IN THEIR OWN MINDS-The Habit Strikes Back

March 21, 22, 28, 29, 8pm. Ticket at the door only, First Come first seated. Rendezvous Jewel Box Theater in Seattle's Belltown.

Shake your Body: Bollywood Parody

SPARKLE!

SOFT ROCK EXPLOSION!

NEW SHOW!!! I've just booked the biggest gig of my life. I'll be doing an all new Soft Rock Show at Chop Suey on May 3rd, that's Saturday night at one of Seattle's best venues. I need to attract hundreds of people, so bring your whole family, even the cousins you hate.

It's the SOFT ROCK EXPLOSION! Witness the incredible explosion of Mount St. Soft Rock.

Pic

Mr. Dobosh in a Floridian rainstorm.

Seattle Weekly reviews Mark Siano

SEATTLE WEEKLY REVIEW

http://seattleweekly.com/2007-12-05/arts/details-on-that-holiday-show-you-ve-gotta-see.php

In this mostly autobiographical one-man show, writer/performer Mark
Siano puts a comic spin on a history of failed relationships, drug
abuse, and college underachievement. Like many comedians, Siano
really, really wants us to like him, and we're happy to oblige. The
whole performance, in fact, has the feel of a class reunion, listening
to an old friend reminisce about those crazy college days.
Regrettably, though, I wasn't in on the jokes, and his sly references
to his friends worked better for, well, his friends. Yet it's hard not
to be impressed by Siano's enthusiasm and, perhaps more significantly,
his talents as a lyricist. High Times' high points are undoubtedly the
original songs—most notably his ode to everyone's favorite big box,
"Wal-Mart Is My Bitch." Siano is one of the most relentlessly
enthusiastic storytellers I've seen, and he certainly doesn't lack for
stories. BRENT ARONOWITZ

Feelings

I feel pretty good right now. Yeah.

Mark Siano goes Solo

Mark Siano performing in NYC Oct. 21

OCCURRENCE
This Sunday, October 21 @ 9:30p

NEW VENUE!
The Tank @ Collective Unconscious
279 Church Street
(just south of White St. in lower Manhattan)
http://www.thetanknyc.org/theater
$5

featuring:
- the musicomedical stylings of Reggie Watts!
- Mark Siano blasting us with song!
- a short play about baseball and the devil by Tommy Smith!
- ventriloquism by the wonderful Carla Rhodes!
- the phantasmagorical performance of Liza Petersen!
- Michael Lopez indoctrinating us to Carnaidesai corporation!
- THREE new films.

for those who forgot:
OCCURRENCE is a rollicking alternative performace + film event curated by comedian Reggie Watts and playwright Tommy Smith. Occurrence invites innovative performers to play short sets. The evening closes with a comedy/music set by Reggie Watts.

The Mark Siano SUPER Soft Rock Spectacular!

A new show with all the fun and hilarity of the original spectacular but vastly improved. SUPER SOFT has more comedy, new sketches, new jokes, and hot new dancers. We've also added more great musicians, more dancing, a hilarious karaoke video, and a new soft rock original hit single "Up in your Inbox." Come see the performance that last time had packed houses laughing hysterically and jumping to their feet with wild applause.

RE-BAR
Sept. 28, 29
October 5, 6

Performances at 8pm Friday and Saturday nights
Re-Bar is located 1114 Howell St (corner of Howell and Boren) 206-233-9873
Tickets are $14 at the door $12 pre-sale with Brown Paper Ticket for tickets call 1-800-838-3006 or visit www.brownpapertickets.com/event/19374

great video available at the ol myspace. www.myspace.com/marksiano