SOFT ROCK at The Triple Door January 30

Mark Siano and the Freedom Dancers present the latest installment of their popular Soft Rock series. Siano will flex his comedy and vocal chops, while the beautiful and funny dancers tear up the stage, take to the air and strap on roller skates, softly. Do not miss this spectacular culmination of Siano's two-year journey into softness.

Tickets on sale now. http://thetripledoor.net/

DOWNTOWN SEATTLE next to Benaroya Hall.

Friday January 30th, 2 shows, 7:30 and 10:30.

check out the amazing photoshoot!

Theatre Dangerously Returns 11/21/08

Theatre Dangerously
A co-production with Washington Ensemble Theatre

November 21st, Friday, 2 shows
8pm and 11pm

The Little Theater (Home of Washington Ensemble Theatre)
608 19th Ave E
Seattle, WA 98112
(CORNER OF MERCER AND 19th on Capitol Hill next to the Kingfish Cafe)

Tickets available only at the door, $10
206-898-3644

The Line-up:

-John Osebold, new songs from the "Awesome" guitarist and vocalist
-Solomon Georgio, stand-up from the winner of the Stranger Gong Show
-Blood Squad, slasher satire from Seattle's top improv team
-Becky Poole, absurd comedy from one of Seattle's favorite new performers
-Cherry Manhattan, burlesque from the beautiful Katjana Vadeboncoeur
-Mara Siciliano & Sam Pettit, high voltage original dance and choreography
-Luke Thayer and David Swidler, sketch comedy from old members of The Habit
~and~
-The Freedom Dancers, performing they're hugely popular and acclaimed "Bollywood" number

MARK SIANO: PINKO HOLIDAY

Opens Friday! Oct. 10, 11, 17, 18, at the Rendezvous Jewel Box Theatre, 2232 2nd Ave. Seattle.

Oh the people you'll meet

This is a huge thank you to all the great people I spent time with during my travels in Southeast Asia and China.

Traveling solo can be lonely at times, but meeting all of you was what made it such a satisfying and enriching adventure, thank you for being gracious hosts, and for being daring and trusting friends. (names have been spared to protect the innocent)

It's great to be home in Seattle, but I miss my new travel buddies. If any of you ever make it out here look me up. We'll start the photo journal of awesome and beautiful faces in CHINA!!!






















VIETNAM



LAOS







THAILAND











And we'll finish in the infamous--
MUDLAND








That's what they mean by blue eyed devil.

"IT IS FORBIDDEN"

But I did it anyway.
It is expressly forbidden to display political signs in Olympic venues, or on Olympic grounds, or anywhere in China for that matter. But I would not be deterred. (Damn it I blinked!) USA vs. China -Women's Basketball, I was there and I unfurled this sign. "USA Out of Iraq, and into the Medal Round." How did I sneak the sign in you may ask?
First I had to beg some volunteers to give me a large piece of paper or poster board. I noticed they had large scale maps that were blank on the back. But, they too, were forbidden. "Just give me the map, I'll give you a free handball ticket." The girls at the volunteer kiosk wouldn't let go of the map. So I did what I thought was best, I said, "I'm taking the map!" and I ran away. Then I found a nearby mall (which was formerly a mosque, sorry Islam) and I frantically went looking for something to write with. On the top floor there was a children's store with lots of tiny little markers, the clock was ticking and the night's events were about to begin. My Canadian friend Cassie (her shirt says 50% Chinese, 50% Italian, All Canadian), who was coming to the games with me joined me at the children's store, and we drew up the map as fast as possible, with dozens of Chinese onlookers wondering what the hell are they doing?

Having the protest sign on the back of a map was the perfect distraction to get it past the Chinese sensors. I just folded it up with the "USA out of Iraq" part hidden and slid right on in. Layer after layer of security let me and my giant map go through without questioning.

We had the map at the swimming event, but its true destination was the USA basketball game. I raced across town after swimming and once again made it into another venue with no one looking inside my map. My seats were nowhere near the court, but I broke out the sign and got a lot of laughs and applause and a lot of photographs. There was one Australian who kept yelling "Security! Security! We have a breach! Free speech over here, security!"

Naturally I decided I wanted to get closer to the court, so I knew I would have to sneak down. This is China, and it's not like a sporting event in Seattle, or at all like Athens, where you can just act confident and walk past one or two ushers and grab a really good seat. Sure there are empty seats everywhere (well done China/Cosport!) but in China, they are checking tickets, even the old beer in each hand doesn't work. Look how many guards are at each entrance; 8 volunteers per gate, and no other spectators to distract.

Finally I managed to get by a giggling girl and a distracted young man. The next person yelled, "Ticket, ticket." I pointed like back at the other ushers and then back at the stands as if to say, "yeah they checked me, I'm right down here.

FIFTH ROW! The sign was unfurled yet again, the game was just finishing up, and USA had just crushed the Chinese by over 50 points. As the players were about to exit I made my way to the guardrail above where all the press cameras were. This is also where the athletes exit the stadium. I let the sign out over the guardrail, and it took nearly 10 minutes for Chinese security to see it. In the meantime cameras from CCTV, CBC, and other organizations all took pictures of the sign. NBC refused as I kept yelling at them, "C'mon NBC, take a picture, it's an election year."

The best part was that as the American athletes were exiting a few of them looked up to see my sign and they loved it. Cappie Pondexter (#4), pointed at it, smiled and mouthed what I think was "hell yeah!"
Tina Thompson (#11) saw it, gave me a point, a smile, a head nod, and a fist pump. That was pretty nice, gave me a very satisfying ripple of shivers up and down my spine.

That's when the authorities found me. I saw two officials from a distance pointing at me, they approached quickly, I handed my camera off to a nice Chinese man who fricking LOVED my sign.

"It is forbidden, no photo," the olympic representative said, but it was too late. I didn't want to give up my sign so, I folded it up and headed back to my seat.

"It is forbidden," they kept yelling at me, but I just walked away like I had done nothing wrong.
I put the folded map back in my bag.

"No, no, you can not have that sign" he repeated, he was holding his hand out, asking for my sign.

I pulled it out. "But I need the map," I said. "I need the map, I don't understand Beijing's subway, I need the map." This really confused them, the guy harassing me spoke little English, and I just kept speaking very quickly trying to confuse him further.

He grabbed my map-sign and said "Wait here." Damn it, he was walking off with my map and heading in the direction of what I assumed was his superiors.

What was going to happen now. Was I in trouble, would I get thrown out? Deported, detained, who knows, this is China after all.

He returned with my sign. "It is forbidden," he repeated, "please put away, if you take it out again, I will take it away."

He handed the sign back to me, I put it back in my bag.

I said "Thank you," and he shook my hand.

"Enjoy the game," he said, and I did.

Beijing is a River

Enough with the rain already, OK God!?! Jeez, we get it already.

A mere hour ago I was a mess. I was angry, depressed, and alone; getting soaked in a vicious thunderstorm, walking home from the Olympic Stadium empty handed in my attempt to find some swimming tickets.

Then I got word that some had just become available online. Miraculously after pantomiming "internet" to dozens of drenched Chinese, I found an internet cafe and I scored 4 swimming tickets and one women's basketball for tomorrow before the window of opportunity slammed shut.

B-ball is USA v CHINA and you know what that means. I'm breaking out the sign folks! Chinese bans on protest be damned.
That's from the World Cup in Germany 06, this time I'm updating it for the Olympics.

USA out of Iraq and into the Medal Round!

Now it's time to wrap some paper bags around my feet and head out down the Hutong-River-Alley to the bar where I plan to watch Kobe, LeBron, and the American boys take on Yao Ming and the Chinese! Go USA!

(P.S. Ticketing in Beijing SUCKS. It's pathetic, embarrassing, elitist, ineffective and ARGHHH!!!! So angry!! The stadiums are empty and it's really frustrating and sad! It's so hard to get tickets for so many, but then for 15 minutes online you can get tickets for the next day!! I could go on forever, gotta go get drenched!!)

Beijing is off and running!

Now that the pomp is over, let the games begin! Who likes cycling through heavy smog?!?

Quit yer whining! Do it anyway, and don't stop until you get to the Great Wall of China.

I don't want to spoil the Opening Ceremonies for you, if you hear anyone talking about the torch lighting, cover your ears and sing "Almost Paradise." It doesn't quite top Barcelona's flaming arrow, but it's really creative and spectacular. You had to know Zhang Yimou wasn't going to disappoint.

Now the important stuff: I'll tell ya what athlete hotties to watch for. The flag bearer from Jordan has a killer smile (Zeina Shaban), and the ladies were quite smitten with the dancing Kenyan men. The Danish top the Swedes this year in best Nordic looks, and I give the sexiest nation prize to Italy barely edging out Brazil, but I'm extremely biased.

Kobe and Federer were the favorites of the Chinese.

In this day and age it's really pathetic and embarrassing when a nation doesn't send any women athletes. Qatar, knock it off already, Muhammad didn't say shit about having women in the Olympics. India, really, first of all, if you're the second largest nation in the world, train some frickin athletes already, and no women AT ALL!!! Even your extremely poor neighbor Bangladesh has women athletes and they have to live in a country patrolled by a brutal, fundamental, and radical Islamic police force. For shame India.

Be prepared for a really long march of nations, I miss the days when the Soviet Union and Yugoslavia would save us at least 30 nations. The UN has let this idea of the modern nation state get out hand. Who has ever heard of this country called the Youcrain? Also look for the expression on Hu Jingtao's face when "Chinese Taipei" walks in, it's worse than the scowl Bush gave Iran back in Salt Lake. The real reason Tibet, Xinjiang, Taiwan, and Hong Kong will never be free and independent is that the Olympic Committee is worried it could take up to 5 hours to get through a march of nations if China can't hold it all together.

Bed Bath and Beijing

It's a controversial title, Bed Bath and Beijing, mainly because my host Erika hates it. However she can't deny it got the most laughs at the bar the other night. A bar called"BED" no less.

A bar called BED seemed really appealing when creeping wearily into the wee hours, but it didn't live up to it's title. It was like the movie There Will Be Blood, should've been There Might Be Blood or There Could Be Blood, but there wasn't all that much blood. BED had no actual beds, just pillows, which would be fine for a bar called PILLOW, I reckon a trendy little bar named PILLOW could do plenty of business. However this place didn't even have sexy lay around kind of pillows, so I had to pass out sitting up. Some bed!?#!

I've been in Beijing a week now, and honestly I've really enjoyed being unemployed and lazy. Some days I go out and do stuff, other days I sit around and eat all of Erika's Lady Crisps. They're made for a woman, but tasty enough for a man, even the Blueberry Potato Chips are growing on me.

(10 Days later)
Wow, that post went nowhere fast, no wonder I neglected it so long. Maybe a picture will help.

Short and Sloppy

I was a little worried when I got to Beijing. After all I went directly from the gorgeous mountains of Yanghou (pictured above), to the smoggy streets of Beijing.
See that little ball of fire, they call that the sun! You can't see it because of all that sweet delicious heavy pollution. There have actually been some beautiful days though, like when Erika and I went to the Summer Palace, that was amazing! The skies were clear and blue, there was a nice breeze and we had drinks (that I mixed and froze the night before, classic) on a paddle boat with an ipod and speakers taped to the bow. We listened to Radiohead and Peter Cetera, cause Erika knows what kind of mix I like.

Right now, I'm not ill enough to write a whole lot. I'm gonna go pick up my Olympic Tickets. I can't wait to see my favorite sport TEAM HANDBALL! Tomorrow I'm gonna hit The Great Wall, hopefully I'll reinjure my ankle, then the blog will be huge!

Despite my early misgivings about Beijing, I'm having tons of fun. Luckily for me this town is littered with American Expats who speak Mandarin, so I'm not totally lost. In my attempts to make new friends, I'm gonna buy a Chinese Cell Phone, because as always, I'm trying to be popular.

Stay tuned for a fancy new blog post in the works.

Duck Blood Vinegar Kidney Soup for the Soul

I'm injured again damn it. Which is good if you're a fan of this blog, because when I'm feeling bad it's much easier to sit in an internet cafe and compose a new posting.
These nice ladies may seem innocent enough, but they are the reason I'm hobbled right now with a fat ankle. They are the women of the Yao minority in Southwest China and they patrol the eastern bank of the Long Ji rice terraces commonly known as "The Dragon's Backbone." Few are able to escape their grasp without buying something or witnessing a long hair showing with photo (only 5 Chinese Yuan=80 cents).
I was trying to walk to my favorite lake in Long Ji for a swim when I was accosted by an especially agressive woman who followed me for nearly a kilometer with a basket full of trinkets. I said no in every possible way I could think of-- "Bu", "Bu ke Qi" meaning "no, no thank you" and finally "wo bu yao kan chang fa" which means "please keep your long hair on your head, I don't need a photo!" She wouldn't give up and she left me with only three options. 1. Buy some crap, or watch a hair show. 2. Push her off the cliff. 3. Run!

I decided to run, she came running after me. My legs are long, but she knew the cliffside stone pathways much better and was able to keep up, so I broke out into a full sprint. I managed to lose her, but I also lost my footing and rolled my ankle. The right ankle, that gets hurt every 6 months or so. So now I'm grounded in the ridiculously picturesque city of Yangshou.

Pretty isn't it? The finest Karst Towers I've seen so far. This photo was taken just outside of Yangshou on the edge of a mountain. Now it's been over a week since I've written, here's how I got into China.
I met some Chinese dudes on the bus from Hanoi to China. We had a fantastic conversation about freedom and Chinese politics and Tibet and the Olympics, but then I thought "I better shut up before we hit the border, if I piss someone on this bus off, then could turn me in at the border." The land crossing into had me extremely nervous. They searched me and riffled through my stuff, even read some of my journal. When I reached the 4th level of security clearance the border guard stopped me, she looked at me a dozen times, then back at my passport. I just kept smiling. She called her superior, he looked the Visa over, looked at me and then whispered the two syllables that filled me with joy and relief. "OK" he said!

I was in! The scenery was spectacular and the roads were fantastic! After Vietnam it was like crossing from Mexico to America. China is much more modern than I expected. Not only that, but now I had Chinese friends! Look at those guys, they look like fun right? They took me all over the city of Guilin, doing China the way the Chinese do. Nasty! I ate some really disgusting food including this superb dish known as Duck Blood Vinegar Kidney Soup.

It came with a side of pork spleen! I acted like it was fine, I'm adventurous right? But it was was slimy, spongey, bone crunchy, bloody, and largely devoid of any distinctive taste. All texture, no flavor. Still I was extremely grateful for my Chinese friends especially Tsai, who really showed me around Guilin. The drinking was much more fun than the eating, and the drinking games destroyed my will to live. Please Tsai, tell me you were kidding when you said that skewer was made of pig's penis.

After Guilin I headed south to Yangshou.

Check out the wild mountain goats! I spent the night in an old converted farm house, and the next morning I went on a bike ride with a nice British young woman named Charlotte, she and I biked across these fields and hiked up the side of a mountain and met these nice goats, who didn't trust us one bit. Later that day I headed into town and opened my wallet for a piece of water theatre directed by the brilliant Zhang Yimou (Hero, Raise the Red Lantern, House of Flying Daggers)The show was called Impression Liu Sanjie and it was by far the most impressive spectacle I've ever seen. I have no idea what the show was about or if there was a plot at all, but who the hell cares. Zhang Yimou knows how to blow your eyeballs out with color, I can't wait to see what what he does with the Opening Ceremonies. The whole show was done, ON THE RIVER, with over 600 performers and a boat load of boats. It was like Cirque Du Soliel without all the bullshit. My camera is not very good at night, trust me though, it was incredible, they even lit up the surrounding mountains!

After indulging in the rich beauty of Yangshou, I headed to the Rice Terraces of Long Ji, I met this Phillipino dude named J.P. He had perfect English (I'm so jealous of these multiligual bastards) with a New York accent. Cool guy, we expored the terraces and he headed back to Yanghou.
Then I met some British Trinidadians and we headed to the next village which was 4 hours away. No restaurants, no tourists, and no whiteys. A nice woman from the village offered to cook us dinner.

That's Lauren, Coral, and Holly above. The dinner was amazing, I didn't want the nice Yao villager to chop up that hanging piece of pork (I hope it was pork!) but she did and it was delicious. The Brits thought I was really funny. I broke out my A-Game material. "What's the difference between the Yao and Zhuang Minority? The Yao are all like 'Excuse me sir, would you like to see me take down my hair?' and the Zhuang are all like "Yo, Whitey! Hold up homes. Wanna check my hair or what?" Ah, ethnic/racist humor in China, gets em every time.

To top off the day, I found a basketball court on the side of the rice terraces.

Notice that I am a full foot taller than these guys. I had a dozen blocks and scored at will. It was really satisfying, and I don't care if half of them were barefoot. It was time to school some fools.

The Olympics are almost here and I'm headed to Beijing, next time I write I'll be in the care of the illustrious Erika Kuever.