Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Posted by Hello
At the Olympics this year, Guard Young will compete as the first ever Human Javelin.

-If you're not already full of terror and anabolic steriods, you're probably not headed to the Olympics like me. Tomorrow my girlfriend/sidekick Joanna and I will be headed to Athens, Greece to take part in the summer games. While I may not be competing in any sports or even waving the flag, I will be representing America at many fine drinking establishments throughout Greece. I have been preparing for this moment since June 2004, this is what some of my trainers are saying.

"Mark has no chance of winning anything in Greece, not even a drinking competition. Especially with the Australians and Germans there, you're most likely to find Mark under a table somewhere." --Rob Anderson, Santa Monica Track & Field

"With Mark's immune system in shambles from excessive steriod use, he really shouldn't even get on a plane." --Gail Wesley, St. John's Hospital

"If there was a medal for POOREST MAN IN ATHENS, Mr. Siano would bring home the gold."
--Jason Blake, Bank of America

So as you can see, expectations are high this time round, but I won't crumble under the pressure. I will not be intimidated sexy physically superior athletes or let myself be overwhelmed by the daunting stress of the Greek topless beaches. I am ready for the challenge, and I won't back down!

Here's the game plan. I fly out of L.A. on Thursday and arrive in Greece on Saturday morning, where I will be staying within walking distance of the Main Olympic Complex. That night I will see Gymnastics. Sunday will be Beach Volleyball and another sport T.B.A. Monday will be Handball day. Team Handball is by far the coolest sport you've never heard of. Imagine if you could play soccer with your hands, lots and lots of goals. Check out the gold medal game on NBC on August 29th, I'll be there, trust me you'll love it.

After that, Joanna and I have 10 days to play in Greece. We plan to go to the Greek islands and then even visit the majestic Meteora (or Metewpa) where ancient monastaries stand atop isolated sandstone cliffs. The photos will be amazing. Joanna bought a combination binocular and camera that takes beautiful detailed long distance photos.

Then on the 26th we will return to Athens so we can view, ALL THE BASKETBALL quarterfinals. Four basketball games in one day, and we'll see all the top 8 teams. Then on the 28th is the big Athletics final. Yes, we'll be at the big stadium for the big Track and Field final event, that's where binocam will really come in handy. On the 29th will be the Handball Gold Medal game, and two days later, barring terrorist attack we'll return to L.A. I promise to post some cool photos and hopefully hilarious stories of sports and security. Check back next week.

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