Wednesday, May 24, 2006

SPAIN!

Joanna and I flew into Sevilla, Seville, Seviglia, whatever and when we got to the airport, the bus never came. Fifty people on the curb for an hour for a bus that never arrived. There was talk of a strike, so we caught a cab. When we tried to get downtown to the bus station, we couldn't make it because the road was blocked off. Just then we heard explosions in the distance. Then some people running with banners reading "COCO" and some distant chanting. Protest! Riots surely to follow, we decided buses weren't going to make it out of the protest gridlock, so we got on a train for Grenada. I'm with you protesters, I hope you get that Coco, but I got shit to do. Sorry Sevilla, maybe next time.

Grenada is a cool little city with a Morrocan Arabic flavor to it. It's like visiting the middle east, without actually having to go there. We visited the Alhambra, a 13th century Moorish palace that the conquering Christians had the foresight not to destroy, just expand. After the heavy deluge of Jesus inspired architcture, it was nice to look at something so different.

However, our exploration into Islamic design has come a disasterous price. The good Lord, blessed be his name, has struck Joanna with a terrible blight. In punishment for so thoroughly enjoying Muslim patterns and designs, the Lord has given Joanna the dreaded MOSQUITO STIGMATA!

It began with a bite on the hand, and then another on the palm of her other hand. Then mysteriously at night, two mosquito bites on the tops of her feet appeared. Just like the wounds of Jesus Christ, only itchier.

She is only one wound away from full Stigmata. The Vatican is monitoring the situation carefully, the Pope has been notified, and all of Chistendom is praying for her salvation. I have spoke to the Pope and offered my services.

"I sir, will give her the fifth wound," I declared.

The Pope responded with a puzzled silence.

Switching subjects entirely: Grenada is hella cool, but the place is packed with white people with dreadlocks. I can't stand that, it's like Burning Man TM out here.

Why do they do it, they look so bad on white people?¿?¿?¿ (LOok out spaÑish keys?Ç¿?) Honestly, they are more annoying then a bus full of old Germans tourists, mainly because old Germans don't hang out getting high on the corner, letting their manegy dogs crap in the middle of the sidewalk.

These people (I've had a few friends, my apologies to Kari, Tabasco, Firebone, etc.) say they're doing it to make a statement, to stand out and be proud of being an anti-social outcast, when really they just want to hang out with other people like themselves. Having dreadlocks is like a beacon to these new age hippies, (Soilies, I have heard them called but I like to call them soap-dodgers) think about it, it's much easier than taking out a personal ad.

Single White male, seeks single white female for companionship and drug use. I am into bad hygiene, awkward piercings, and fire. You- should wear baggy dirty clothes, enjoy smelling like sweat and incense, feel animosity towards capitalism, and have a vague sense of eastern mysticism. Please contact me if you would like to walk around with my dog and hang out on the corner with my other friends. P.S. I have tattos on my face.

OK that's all the blogging I can handle tonight. Next time TAPAS TOUR 2006 (tapas not included)

3 comments:

Firebone said...

I thought we were friends. I hope Joanna does get the fifth wound you establishment loving preppy.

Anonymous said...

Your mother, the English teacher, would like to point out that the phrase should be "I have spoken to the Pope" not "I have spoke to the Pope."
Also from the previous blog, "their" is
the possessive form, as in their car, their house etc. Really my dear!

Jeff said...

ZING! Score one for Ms. Siano.

PS- Mark, funny blog. I like the superfluous section of spanish keys.